Chemo?

Mike and I met with Dr. Wakelee today at Stanford and she recommends chemo.  She said if this recent cancer incident was new then she would not recommend chemo because surgery would be enough.  But because I already had stage 3 lung cancer previously, she believes chemo is a good idea.  Dr. Wakelee still believes that we can go for a cure.  There is a possibility that I may have cancer cells floating around in my body, and chemo would attack them.  I asked her what would happen if I didn't have chemo and the cancer came back.  She said if the cancer was caught early, then it could probably be taken out or treated.  But cancer could come back in several places, which would be harder to treat, and we would just be maintaining the cancer.  I also told her that I had decided not to do the maintenance chemo back when I had finished with all the chemo and radiation.  She said I had made the right decision.  She would not have recommended the maintenance chemo.

Dr. Wakelee suggested that I get a brain MRI to make sure there is no cancer in my brain.  I haven't had an MRI since August of 2010.  If I choose to do chemo, it would be for 3 months like last time, and it would be the Cisplatin again, and this time instead of Etoposide it would be Alymta which is more tolerable and I wouldn't lose my hair.

How on earth do I make this decision?  Mike doesn't think I should do it.  He thinks chemo is way too toxic and I am shortening my life.  But if I don't do it and cancer comes back, my life will be shortened anyway and I'm sure I would regret not doing the chemo.  Maybe cancer won't come back at all?  Maybe I should look into holistic treatments?  Change my diet completely?  Or maybe I should just endure the 3 months of chemo and increase my chances for a complete cure?  It would be nice if God would just write the answer on the wall for me!  Please pray that I make the right decision in all of this.  I wouldn't start chemo for another couple of weeks since it's still to soon after my surgery.

Driving out of Stanford, Mike and I came upon the popular Stanford "Dish" trail and decided to stop and walk it.  It was beautiful out.  Everything is so green right now and the view was amazing.  We could see all the way to San Francisco.  It was refreshing to clear my head and just enjoy God's beauty.