Post Surgery

It's 2:15 a.m. May 2nd, and I can't sleep yet again.  I have not slept well since the last time I wrote in my blog, the night before my surgery. Mike says I should write down everything about my ordeal, so here it goes...

Day 1
My lung surgery was on Tuesday, April 17th. Mike drove me to Dominican Hospital at 8:00 am. My mom was already there, anxiously awaiting my arrival. I felt quite nervous as I was put into a pre-surgery room and the preparations for my surgery began. I lay on the hospital bed shaking, trying very hard to calm my nerves, but not succeeding. The nurse covered me with a plastic air mattress that had hot air blown into it, and I finally began to warm up.  The air mattress is a wonderful invention! Once my body warmed, the shaking stopped, and I was able to relax. My good friends Susan and Lisa soon arrived. It was comforting to have them there, along with my mom and Mike, to help pass the time, and to help keep my mind off of what was to come. I was scheduled for surgery at 10:30.  At 11:00 I was still laying around waiting for someone to come get me.

Not long after 11:00 a nurse finally came. As soon as I realized the time had finally come, all bravery left me and the tears came. I kissed Mike and my mom goodbye and tried hard to collect myself and calm down. Once I was in the hall outside of the surgery room, I focused on praying.   I had become overly heated from the hot air mattress and a nurse brought me a cold washcloth to put on my forehead. Another nurse came with a large red binder. My binder. She went through all kinds of paperwork and asked me questions such as my name, birth date, and where on my body I was having surgery. Once I was finally cleared for surgery, the anesthesiologist came and injected me with Valium. I started to feel very anxious as he wheeled me into the surgery room, but that feeling soon left me as the Valium began to take effect. Somebody sat me up so that the epidural could be inserted into my back, and the last thing I remember is laying my heavy head on his arms as he held me up. At that moment, I fell asleep.

Opening my eyes in the ICU, I saw Sue Weitzel standing against the wall with my family. I don't remember who was with her, I just remember noticing that she was there. I fell back asleep. I kept waking up on and off and I felt a lot of pain. I believe I kept repeating that my side hurt. My family and friends came in and out, but I don't remember much of it. Apparently my good friend Deb came and visited me and all I can remember about her visit were the balloons that she brought me!  I was in ICU that whole first day and night. My head finally began to clear that evening. I had six tubes attached to my body - an I.V. in my right arm, an artery line in my left wrist, an oxygen tube in my nose, an epidural in my spine, a chest drain tube in my right side, and a catheter.  I felt very relieved that I had no recollection of the breathing tube ever being down my throat. My sore throat was the only evidence of it ever being there. 

I did not care for my night nurse in ICU. She seemed detached and I felt that she did only what had to be done. Sometime that evening, my bladder felt full. I mentioned it to the nurse but she wasn't concerned and left the room. I soon told Mike that I really felt like my bladder was full. He investigated the catheter tube and got it working.  That should have been her job to do!  My mom and Susan stayed with me that first night. I was in so much pain from the chest tube.  The epidural did not block that pain. Sometime during the night, my nurse came in to turn me again, but this time she laid me on my right side. I don't know why she did that! As she left the room, pain began shooting into my side from the pressure of laying on the chest tube. I told mom and Susan to get the nurse and get me off of my side. I cried as I pushed myself onto my back. After that, the pain from the tube never did subside. I was told that thin people have a harder time with the tube. I sure did. I didn't sleep too well that night in the ICU. I hurt and it was very noisy in there.

Day 2
The morning after my surgery, a morning nurse came in and said she wanted to get me out of bed and into a chair for breakfast. As she and her helper got me up and over into the chair, the pain in my side became very intense. I began to feel sick to my stomach and told the nurse so. Then I began to feel very weak and the room began to turn black.  They very quickly dragged me back into bed, and I immediately began to feel better. My blood pressure had dropped dramatically. They did not attempt to get me out of bed again that day. I picked at my breakfast in bed, marveling at how hungry I was before surgery and how not hungry I was now. I had not eaten since the night before my surgery. I had told the nurse that helped me into the chair about Mike having to fix my catheter tube. She said that is what my nurse was for. When I told her what had happened, she informed me that she was the head nurse and was going to look into who my nurse was, because that was not OK!

I was told that the chest tube would come out that morning, and I was relieved to hear it. But as the day went on, it was determined that there was still too much drainage and it had to stay in. I was very disappointed. I was anxious to get out of ICU and into a regular room. My friends could not get in that day to visit me because they were only letting family in. Susan was an exception since she told them she is my sister. I have known Susan since I was seven years old. She qualifies as my sister. :) My dad arrived that morning and stayed by my side for two days. It was comforting to have both my mom and dad there with me. I was finally moved upstairs to a room sometime in the late afternoon. When I arrived to my new room, I had quite the entourage following me in. Mike and his parents were there, and my mom and dad.  When my dinner arrived that evening, the pain was so bad I couldn't sit up, so I had to lay on my side while Mike fed me my dinner. It was actually quite funny. As he fed me I kept thinking of our wedding vows, "For better or worse, in sickness and in health". My husband has really proved his loyalty and love to me. He was there 100 percent for me - serving me, making sure I was comfortable - attending to my every need. I could not ask for a better soul mate. I love him so much!

Day 3
The next day, it was decided that it was time to get me up out of bed. The physical therapist and her assistant got me on my feet. I could not believe how weak I felt! I could barely stand on my own two feet.  After I was put back into bed, I was told that the chest tube would come out soon. Sure enough, Dr. Mitruka came by and told me the tube was coming out and that I could home that night.  His assistant, Mark Gilbert, came to take out the tube. I prepared myself for the pain that I was sure to have, but thankfully the tube came right out and I didn't feel a thing. Mark told me that I did not have to go home that night if I wasn't ready to. Normally a person stays in the hospital for another 24 hours after the chest tube has been taken out. He told me that it was probably a surgeon thing. They like to think they can get a person in and out quickly. The nurse concurred with Mark, saying that I could barely stand on my feet, so it was decided that I would stay one more night.  The anesthesiologist then came and took out the epidural, and after that my nurse took out the artery line and catheter. (The nose tube had come out the day before.) It was freeing to be rid of all those tubes, and the pain in my side had been cut in half. A couple of hours later I was able to get out of bed and actually walk to the bathroom. From there I then walked down the hall and back while hanging onto Mike. I felt weak, but it was good to walk. My nurse sat me in a chair while my bed was being changed and let me wash my hair. That was a strange hair washing. I was given a warmed cap that was placed on my head, and then I massaged the cap into my hair. It supposedly washes your hair and it doesn't need rinsing. It did feel good at the time and I felt refreshed, but I think it did more harm than good, as I get very oily hair. The cap didn't wash my hair very well.  Mike's parents and my good friend Deb had shown up at this time. They watched from a distance as I "washed" my hair. I'm sure I must have been quite a funny sight!

Once the epidural was out and wore off, I got stronger throughout the day and was able to walk the halls longer. The pain was still pretty bad since I was now on oral pills and everything that the epidural had kept numb was now waking up. Walking helped to take the edge off. Elizabeth stayed with me that last night. It was a difficult night since I didn't have the epidural. I tried a sleeping pill and an ice pack. Neither worked. I couldn't stand the weight of the pack on my skin.  I had to ask for more pain medication and then Elizabeth and I walked the halls. Once back in my room, I was able to lay down and finally fall asleep for the rest of the night. Mike came back again the next morning, and he and Elizabeth stayed with me while I was processed out. The I.V. was taken out and I was finally released to go home.

The whole ordeal ended up being a lot more extensive and painful than I realized it would be. I was told that Dr. Mitruka was pleased with the outcome of the surgery.  To get to my lung I was laid on my left side and a four inch incision was cut across my right side below my armpit.  My ribs had to be spread, muscles pulled back, and nerves and whatever else is in there, cut.  He ended up only needing to do a wedge resection on my right lung.  He did have to severe the scarred tissue that was attached to my pericardial sac (the sac around my heart).  Dr. Mitruka got the tumor out as well as two lymph nodes. He found only the two nodes. I guess the others may have been previously destroyed from all the radiation that I previously had. The tumor and lymph nodes were sent off right away to the the lab to be biopsied. My friends and family were anxiously awaiting the results from the lymph nodes.  I am so blessed to have such good friends and family. They were there for me the whole time and continue to be. I was never alone in the hospital. My room had so many flower bouquets it looked like a florist shop! Several of the staff would walk into my room and comment about how pretty my room looked and how well loved I am. Yes, I am definitely well loved!

Home Again
It felt good to be home again and out of the hospital. It has been a long couple of weeks though. That first week I could hardly move I was so sore. It hurt just to breathe. Nights became a challenge and I found I have to sleep propped up. I met with Dr. McMullen last week and got the good news that the lymph nodes came back clear!  The margins around the tumor were also clear.  So as of right now, I have no visible cancer in my body. Thank you God! So now the question is, should I go through chemo?   Tomorrow I am going to Stanford to meet with Dr. Wakelee, the lung specialist I had seen before when I was first diagnosed with cancer. I am hoping to get her opinion about chemo.  I don't know that chemo is such a good idea right now.  It seems to me that it should be saved for when there is cancer to be seen. IF there is ever cancer to be seen again. I pray not! I also had a follow up with Mark Gilbert last week. He took the stitches out from where the chest tube was. The long, four inch incision has dissolvable stitches. Mark asked me why I think I got lung cancer at such a young age. I told him my theory about radon and he actually believed me and agreed with me! He knows about radon and he himself has been trying to educate others about radon. Finally! A doctor who takes radon seriously!

I have been off of the pain pills since Sunday (today is Wednesday). I mostly stopped taking them because I wanted to be able to think clearly and start driving again. So now I just take Advil when I need to. I am not in horrible pain anymore thankfully.  I am just uncomfortable most of the time and I still cannot lift anything over ten pounds. I made the mistake yesterday of going to Costco by myself. That was just dumb of me! The cart got too hard to push, so I resorted to pulling it. By the time I got up to the cash register I was trying very hard not to break down and cry right there.  Nights have been torture. I can't sleep a whole night without tossing and turning and aching. My legs have been very restless and achy for two days and nights now.  Today I am going to go for a walk. I have also been experiencing post surgery depression the last couple of days. It is not like me to just cry and feel so down. I think two weeks of constant pain and lack of sleep has done me in. I worked Monday and Tuesday and I quickly wore out. I get SO tired and cannot function. But I AM getting better. I have to remind myself of that. I will be strong again and this will pass. One day at a time. I must remember that.