Getting Through the Days

I made it through 3 more chemos last week. It has knocked me off my feet though. Friday I was given a shot to help produce bone marrow that is supposed to last for two weeks, and I think between the shot and the chemo, it really slammed my body hard. I spent all day Friday in bed sleeping, laid around all day Saturday, and sat all day yesterday. I don't ever want that shot again. It made my chest bones ache and hurt to to the touch for two days, and my heart has been racing. My stomach started feeling better yesterday, and I think I am slowly regaining strength now as each day goes by. I am SO over this, and do not want to go through it one more time! I am tired of looking in the mirror and not recognizing who is looking back at me. I look tired and my hair is so short and spiky. I want my hair back. I am going to be 38 on Wednesday. I am glad I am not turning 40 this year. I think that would be too depressing. But I will celebrate the day that I turn 40, because I will be alive to celebrate it.

Life goes on, and I will come out the other side of this. I am getting nervous though as the end of treatment gets nearer. Getting through treatment has been my focus. Once that is done, I will get to have my scans done and see if the treatment worked. I think that scares me. What if it doesn't work and I have to go through this all again? God, please let it work!